


highly objectionable

by bluewalk



Series: 30_onepiece: Sanji [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2011-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 20:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluewalk/pseuds/bluewalk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[#15 trial] <em>"I'LL SHOW YOU ASSAULT--"</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	highly objectionable

  
“The court is now in session for the trial of one Blackleg Sanji, member of the Strawhat Pirates from East Blue, occupation cook, current bounty of seventy-seven million belli.”

“The prosecution submits Blackleg Sanji’s official wanted poster for the court’s perusal.”

“Oi, oi, oi! Put that shit away!”

“The wanted poster will be entered into the court record. Bailiff, please restrain the defendant from further outbursts, thank you. Prosecution, what are the charges being brought against Mr. Blackleg today?”

“Your Honor, the defendant stands accused of three counts of aggravated assault. All three incidents occurred in the dockside bar by the name of The Salty Elephant on the night of 21 October, around zero-one-hundred hours. The prosecution is prepared to present witness testimony in support of its case.”

“Guilty!”

“Members of the audience will refrain from interruption of court proceedings!”

“FUCKING MARIMO, I’LL SHOW YOU _ASSAULT_ —”

“Bailiff, control the defendant!”

“I’m trying, Your Honor, but he’s broken the handcuffs!”

“I will have calm in my courtroom! Defendant, if you do not cease and desist, I will be forced to try you for destruction of public property and willful disruption of the judicial process in addition to aggravated assault!”

“They were hitting on Nami-swan! I had _no choice_! They had it coming!”

“Order! Order in the court! Mr. Blackleg, is that an admission of guilt?”

“Guilty _and_ a drunkard!”

“Members of the audience _will_ re—”

“GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE, YOU ALGAE-BRAINED BASTARD.”

“Mr. Blackleg! Mr. _Blackleg_! And you in the audience! Stay in your seat! Don’t you dare—Bailiff, someone, anyone, stop them from destroying my courthouse!”

“YOU GOT A DEATHWISH, MOSSHEAD?”

“WHAT’S THAT, CURLY-BROW, CAN’T HANDLE A LITTLE HECKLING FROM YOUR ADORING PUBLIC?”

“Oh god, that bench was bolted to the floor!”

“Get down, Your Honor!”

“RAAAAAARGH!!”

“UUUOOOOOIIII!!”

And not a single fuck was given that day.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 12 August 2011

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Chinese translation on "highly objectionable"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/398317) by [renata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/renata/pseuds/renata)




End file.
